Reconnection for Disjointed Couples
Ready to shake things up?
If the status quo isn’t cutting it anymore and you:
Often feel disjointed in your relationship, despite both of you trying to connect;
Are eager to be more authentic and vulnerable in your relationship, but you’re scared and not sure how to start;
Want a healthier relationship than your parents had, but have no blueprint for one;
Feel ready to “lean in” to the hard stuff, once you’re equipped with the tools to do so;
I help couples identify where they're getting stuck, and change their patterns so they can move from disjointed to being in sync with each other.
Couples work is hard, but SO rewarding. The changes that couples make when they commit to improving their relationship translate into growth in all aspects of their lives - individually, with their kids, at work, and with their friends.
A transformation in your relationship marks the end of one version of you and the beginning of another.
I imagine it would be one filled with more peace and joy than anxiety and pain. One where you can open up to your partner and feel emotionally safe with them, trusting that they’re not going to kick you when you’re down. Maybe a partnership where you work as a team, and trust that you can handle the obstacles of life no matter what gets thrown your way.
No healthy relationship is free of disagreements and misunderstandings, so removing them is not our goal in therapy. But it is possible to navigate those disagreements in a way that leaves you both feeling connected and possibly even deeper in love than you were before! After all, disagreements are opportunities for vulnerability, and vulnerability is how we get closer to the people we love.
What kind of partnership do you want?
Couples work is deep individual work in disguise
You may assume that couples therapy focuses on communication, compromise, and creative solutions and tools. These are helpful pieces in your therapy process and some therapists may focus mainly on them, but in my experience they only really scratch the surface of bringing you closer together. If you’re going to invest your time, energy, and money in improving your relationship, let’s aim for long-term, sustainable, deep change.
Not just a bandaid.
The thing is, I’m going to ask each of you, over and over again, to shed your old layers and show up for yourself and your partner in a new way. This could look like:
Feeling and sitting with emotions that you’ve been avoiding for a long time;
Voicing your needs and setting healthy boundaries;
Hearing and accepting your partner’s pain;
Choosing vulnerability instead of self-protection or self-defense;
And learning how to give and receive comfort and tenderness.
And beneath that, we’ll dig into why these practices have been so elusive for you both.
